My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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