What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
