They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Redeem this text for a blowjob
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
