He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
