I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
