ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We have started to decorate penises.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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