All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
You can't special order awesome
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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