Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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