I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
