and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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