i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
