Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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