im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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