I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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