If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
