I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
