i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
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