It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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