I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm at about main and main street
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
