I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I think people are normalizing furries
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
