K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
