this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
