we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
