can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
