I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
