My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
