Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
