Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
