soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
