i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
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He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
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Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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