I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
