I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
