I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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