Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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