Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
