We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize