I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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