I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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