I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
