I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
