so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
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Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
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The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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