i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
