hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
