he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
we should paint friendship bongs
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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