she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
