Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
