how hairy? two words: wookie tits
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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