Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
