Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
