Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
