To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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