why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
