The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
he had hair everywhere except his balls
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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