She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
