I'm jealous of your bromance
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
