I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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