I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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