turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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