so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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